turkey-imported-from-maine:

firelorcl:

meladoodle:

i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed

a dentist

i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police

nibit:

420 is so close I can almost taste all the bad jokes I’ll have to weed through

"When you grow up as a girl, the world tells you the things that you are supposed to be: emotional, loving, beautiful, wanted. And then when you are those things, the world tells you they are inferior: illogical, weak, vain, empty."

Stevie Nicks (via fawun)

(Source: bmurguia)

  • JESSE EISENBERG: People on the street say mean things to me.
  • INTERVIEWER: Like what?
  • JESSE EISENBERG: I get called Napoleon Dynamite because I have curly hair. I live in New York City and I ride a bicycle. I always bike down 9th Avenue and there’s this kid who goes to school there named Abraham. Every time I pass him, he calls me Napoleon Dynamite. He screams it out and his friends laugh. That was a fine movie but I wasn’t in it.
  • INTERVIEWER: What do you say back?
  • JESSE EISENBERG: I say, “Please, Abraham, I’m not that man.”

styrnwilf:

HAHAHAHA

Also look, a well done rape joke.

(Source: epic-lee)